For the past three weeks I’ve been feeling really unwell. I alluded to this in my post In which I do not over-share but haven’t provided many details*. Because this is a library blog, I’m still committed to a no-TMI, library-thoughts-only policy.
But illness relates to my library adventures in three ways:
- Everyone’s having fun without me.
In the past three weeks, I’ve spent far too little time enjoying myself by learning new, exciting, librarian-ish things. And far too much time in doctors’ offices or curled up in a ball of pain at home.
- My professors & classmates are awesome. That almost makes it worse.
My school friends have been taking notes for me and keeping me apprised of goings-on that I’ve missed. Several have sent personalized versions of “Miss you! Feel better!” messages. My instructors are no less understanding and reassuring, reminding me that my health is more important that school right now. Which is why it’s rotten not being able to hang out and learn from/with these helpful people as much as I’d like.
- It started so well. I’m frustrated that this semester, which began promisingly, feels like it’s being derailed. If I hated school and were doing poorly, I might take this latest difficulty as a sign that I’d chosen the wrong path. Instead, I adore school and have been doing great. I hate this random hurdle that’s appeared without warning and can’t be overcome by being clever, studying harder, or exerting willpower.
I’m trying to be positive and serene. But today I’m grumpy and discouraged. I want everything to go back to the way it was three weeks ago when I was rocking grad school and spending the majority of my time with cool LIS people. Medical exams, blood-work, sonograms, and CT scans are all very interesting when happening to someone else. They are not, however, my idea of a good time when there is librarianship to be learned.
*Details I will share: I’m obviously not dying, otherwise I wouldn’t be blogging. My malady is of a physical rather than emotional/mental health nature. It hurts a lot.