In which I throw a pity party in 350 words.

For the past three weeks I’ve been feeling really unwell. I alluded to this in my post In which I do not over-share but haven’t provided many details*. Because this is a library blog, I’m still committed to a no-TMI, library-thoughts-only policy.

But illness relates to my library adventures in three ways:

  1. Everyone’s having fun without me.
    In the past three weeks, I’ve spent far too little time enjoying myself by learning new, exciting, librarian-ish things. And far too much time in doctors’ offices or curled up in a ball of pain at home.
  2. My professors & classmates are awesome. That almost makes it worse.
    My school friends have been taking notes for me and keeping me apprised of goings-on that I’ve missed. Several have sent personalized versions of “Miss you! Feel better!” messages. My instructors are no less understanding and reassuring, reminding me that my health is more important that school right now. Which is why it’s rotten not being able to hang out and learn from/with these helpful people as much as I’d like.
  3. It started so well. I’m frustrated that this semester, which began promisingly, feels like it’s being derailed. If I hated school and were doing poorly, I might take this latest difficulty as a sign that I’d chosen the wrong path. Instead, I adore school and have been doing great. I hate this random hurdle that’s appeared without warning and can’t be overcome by being clever, studying harder, or exerting willpower.

I’m trying to be positive and serene. But today I’m grumpy and discouraged. I want everything to go back to the way it was three weeks ago when I was rocking grad school and spending the majority of my time with cool LIS people. Medical exams, blood-work, sonograms, and CT scans are all very interesting when happening to someone else. They are not, however, my idea of a good time when there is librarianship to be learned.

*Details I will share: I’m obviously not dying, otherwise I wouldn’t be blogging. My malady is of a physical rather than emotional/mental health nature. It hurts a lot.

27 thoughts on “In which I throw a pity party in 350 words.

  1. Lindsay Davis November 1, 2015 / 11:47 pm

    Sorry you’re sick. Don’t worry about school–there’s still plenty left. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Library Heather November 3, 2015 / 12:49 am

      I know, but… I have always loved school and it pains me to miss any of it.


    • Library Heather November 3, 2015 / 12:51 am

      I will. Much more slowly than usual, maybe, but I always keep swimming. 🙂 Oh, and I can’t wait for the “Finding Dory” movie next summer.


  2. Teresa November 2, 2015 / 8:24 am

    Did my invitation to this Pity Party get lost in the mail? Were refreshments served?
    Hope the medical establishment provides you some answers and relief post haste.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Library Heather November 3, 2015 / 12:52 am

      Thank you, Teresa. My blog post is the invitation. I served… whine. *ducks to avoid projectiles*


      • Teresa November 3, 2015 / 8:56 am

        Sense of humor intact! Prognosis excellent, as loss of humor is a side affect of death.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Christopher November 2, 2015 / 9:16 am

    Here’s hoping for a speedy recovery, but I also appreciate what your classmates’ and professors’ and for that matter your attitude say about the future of libraries.
    I’ve worked with several librarians who’ve proudly said “If I wanted to help people I wouldn’t have become a cataloger”. I’ve even lost count of the number of times I’ve heard “I don’t care what the patrons want.”
    I work in a library but I’m not a librarian. (For those who may be confused by this I don’t have the required degree for the title “librarian”. I’m a library assistant or para-professional.) But even so what motivates me every single day I’m at work is helping people. Nothing makes me happier than being able to fix a problem for a patron and having them say “Thank you!”
    And I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard real librarians say the same thing.
    Get well soon. Libraries need librarians like you and your classmates.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Library Heather November 3, 2015 / 1:10 am

      Thanks, Christopher. One of the reasons I switched careers when I did was my desire to increase the community service aspect of my professional life while moving away from the retail sector. I like being helpful and connecting people with other helpful resources (whether it’s information or opportunities or other people). I love the collaborative atmosphere of my school. It’s wonderful to be around people who are intelligent, motivated, and creative without being selfish or competitive. I usually try to surround myself with clever, kind, interesting people wherever I am, but with my grad school cohort… I cannot believe how many of them there are in one place.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. CarolK November 2, 2015 / 10:44 am

    Christopher wrote you a beautiful heartfelt note and I can’t agree more. I am so glad you have found such a sharing community of librarians, etc. that are trying to help you over this hurdle. There will be a Heather the Librarian on the other side of this malady. Hope you feel better soon. In the meantime continue to rock em’.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Library Heather November 3, 2015 / 1:11 am

      Thanks, Carol. My classmates definitely measure up to all of the other amazing librarians I know. The future of librarianship is in good hands.


  5. Jay November 2, 2015 / 12:15 pm

    I’m sorry you’re going through the shit. I love how grateful you still manage to be despite your pain. Thinking of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Library Heather November 3, 2015 / 1:20 am

      Thank you, Jay. I’m not good at being the kind of person who never complains or is always positive. So I figure, as often as I whine or curse about the rotten stuff, I should give credit where it’s due for the excellent stuff.


  6. Cassandra November 2, 2015 / 1:20 pm

    So sorry to hear you are suffering. I wish you a speedy recovery.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. A. Marie November 2, 2015 / 3:15 pm

    Dunno whether this is the stuff from a few years back making an unwelcome repeat appearance or new stuff, but either way, you know I’m in your corner. Do what you need to do to feel better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Library Heather November 2, 2015 / 10:01 pm

      Thanks, Marie. It originally seemed like the former, but actually may be the latter. Tests should confirm it this week.


  8. (Un)Fettered November 3, 2015 / 5:43 pm

    I so understand. During my final year of my Masters program, I started feeling chronic illness creeping in (though I didn’t quite realize it at the time). I then spent the next year and a half-ish mostly in bed, missing out on pretty much everything and everyone, and now I feel so far out of the loop that I’m not sure where to go from here.

    The good news is that friends and colleagues have been very understanding, and that the general understanding of chronic pain/illness and invisible illnesses is changing. I try to hang onto that on the roughest days.

    I hope that you get your things figured out, whatever they may be, and that you can find a path forward that works for you and keeps you happy.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Mother November 4, 2015 / 7:26 pm

    Aww. Here’s hoping you feel better soon and can get back into the swing of things. And there’s no colonoscopies, right? So that’s a positive, at least.

    Liked by 1 person

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